A funny and fun piece and oh, so true. Lived in Southern states most of my 63 years but my people are from the North and West. I know the difference in lifestyles and attitudes and you nailed Southerners. Similar pieces can be, and have been, written about other regions of the country. Wow, could I write one about Maine where I lived for several years! Knowing your shortcomings and idiosyncrasies and being able to laugh at yourself, as I do when parallel parking, is a sign of self-awareness and the appreciation of truthful sarcasm. By no means was your article mean-spirited or racist or any of the other negative comments in responses here. You have a great sense of humor and a stellar command of sarcasm!