After 25 years of marriage, my former husband and I were in marriage counseling. We’d become roommates who didn’t like each other much. I was in forward motion, he was mired in the past. During one session, he said with great pride, “These problems are not my fault. I am the same person I was when we got married. In 25 years, I have not changed one bit — not at all in 25 years! I did not create any of these problems.” I looked at the counselor and said, “I rest my case.”

We must change or we die in place, like a rooted tree with no options but to remain in one place until death.

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I was always a writer but lived in a bookkeeper’s body before I found Medium and broke free — well, almost. Working to work less and write more.

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