Anna, somehow I missed this powerful piece when you posted it earlier. It was my loss because this is extraordinary in the way you describe daily, livable depression. I think of it as a shadow that walks slightly behind me and to the side, waiting for a hole, a crack, a thin spot in my being where it can invade and set up residence. Depression is an opportunistic thief, waiting stealthily to steal what makes life worth living.
Like you, I do what I have to do. It is the routine, the knowing that there are responsibilities, the one-foot-in-front-of-the-other dance that keeps me going when I’d rather lay down and stay down.
Thank you for so clearly describing my life.