Anne, this is horrific but not surprising. Women always have to work harder for respect, especially in a field dominated by men. I admire you so much that it breaks my heart to think you are being disrespected in any way. You are brave and capable and amazing.
I have a story I toyed with telling about the "final straw" that led me to retiring from my largest client. Your piece here convinced me to share, just as you shared yours.