Brendon, I lived in Maine long ago and have been in Florida for many years — the opposite of your location experience. Keeping up with news from my former state, though not my home state, I am shocked at how conservative and racist it has become. Probably not as bad as the Sunshine State but certainly disturbing. I won’t even mention LePage who was a warning of what horrendous decisions can be made through the voting process, later confirmed by our current president. But, I digress from your entertaining story…

The way you wove house hunting, HGTV, and local racism was inspired. I enjoyed every word.

I hope you and your girlfriend find the perfect home, without unwanted fireplaces, in a welcoming community not decorated with racism, a place where you are not grilled for belonging there. Best of luck to both of you.