Brene Brown’s name for what you described is vulnerability. If you haven’t read her work, Jonas, I suggest you take a look at her books. I am sure you will find her studies on vulnerability to be in line with this post. Fear of being vulnerable, of the possibility of losing in one way or another, limits our ability to live fully, to live large with great compassion and acceptance. Your story is the story of all humanity which is why we resonate with you and what you write.