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Okay, Jack, this is what I have to say:

First: I didn't notice that Nicole's piece was not on Medium (Oh, horrors!) and I kept trying, very unsuccessfully, to highlight it, cussing my mouse and Medium and the Universe until I realized my stupidity. You get no points for making me feel stupid.

Second: Deb, Mark Starlin’s wife, Harper Thorpe’s wife, and I are the best effing wives on Medium - well, singularly or by association ‘cause not all these ladies actually exist on Medium.

Third: savory bread pudding is not a thing! It’s not bread pudding. It’s leftover goop. Yuck!

Fourth: NOTHING should ever be prepared with Cheez Whiz or Velvetta. True fact - as if there is any other kind of fact - those orangey fake foods will turn you into a Trumpette. Yes, I do not lie.

Fifth: salt and sugar are not seasonings except in Lancaster PA where nothing has any flavor anyway. Pepper is borderline.

And, lastly, there are no "real" restaurants in Lancaster County. This I know because I've been there. I remember eating tasteless potatoes and apples and doughy things in your local restaurants. Pennsylvania Dutch, right? Since when do the Dutch or anyone from Pennsylvania know anything about food?? Sorry, Erik Smith!

With all of that said, your guilty pleasure is your guilty pleasure, even if it involves plastered together Thanksgiving leftovers or orange make-believe cheese. So, with some reservations (not reservations in PA restaurants), I thank you for responding to my prompt, Jack. Your response almost fell in the kinky category due to the slutty food mentioned, but I let it pass.

You’re welcome.

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I was always a writer but lived in a bookkeeper’s body before I found Medium and broke free — well, almost. Working to work less and write more.

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