Exactly! You nailed the problem with these let’s-talk scenarios. It isn’t the same for both parties. Not at all. I live this every day with co-workers who are bigots. I am not part of a minority group but some of my family and many of my friends are. My co-workers think I should listen to and tolerate their bigoted opinions of people I love - people whom they don’t know, whom they want to outlaw through legislation, whom they want to jail or deport. Nothing I say or have ever said changes their minds. I just get sucked into a worm hole that leaves me exhausted and depressed. No longer will I allow myself and my family and friends to be attacked in unwinnable conversations.