I feel guilty for laughing at your failed online dating, Francine, but your stories are hysterically outrageous. At least with Meetup you are in a group (safety in groups) and have a chance to get to know someone in person and to see their interactions with others.
A woman I knew used EHarmony and one of her more successful matches fell apart when she had the opportunity to watch the man interact with others - in more than in a restaurant situation. I think they were going on a boat tour or something like that. Anyway, she was so appalled at his unkind-ness towards the other people on the boat that she decided he definitely was not worthy of another date (they'd had 3 or 4). When she told him why he said that strangers were strangers and he didn't have to be nice to anyone he didn't know or didn't want to get to know!