I made it to 49 with no kids and no regrets. Then I adopted a runaway teen — one of those out-of-the-blue, fell-from-the-sky situations. I don’t regret adopting her. She, and later her two children, have added richness and heartache to my life and have also greatly depleted my bank account and resulted in me working 50–60 hours a week at a time in life when I expected to be slowing down. As much as I love her and my grandchildren, I still do not regret having chosen not to give birth to my own and I honestly wonder what I would be doing now if she had not entered my life. What would my life look like?

Without a doubt, adopting an immigrant has opened doors and enriched my life in ways I couldn’t imagine, but we don’t give birth to immigrants. I still, at 62, know having a baby(ies) was not what I wanted or needed.

And, like you, I am a vegetarian. I always, and still do after almost 30 years, get more negative comments about my dietary preferences than my choice not to have kids! People can be unbelievably nosy and rude.

I was always a writer but lived in a bookkeeper’s body before I found Medium and broke free — well, almost. Working to work less and write more.

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