I work for a divorce attorney and that is not what I see regularly. Rare is the man who takes his responsibility for children seriously. There are some but few. Those who walk away, and those are the ones to which I referred, rarely face consequences. My ex-son-in-law is a chiropractor and pays zero child support for his children although his ex-wife, my daughter, worked in retail and never made more than $11.50 an hour. There are many, many others like him. They find a multitude of ways to hide from the courts and law enforcement.

More to the point of my comment, men are not burdened with the same public shame and blame that mothers face. A friend’s ex is not paying his child support and does not bother to spend time with his kids, but their joint friends still socialize with him because he is a “fun guy” — fun for whom? Certainly not for his kids. I have seen this same scenario over and over again. But, let a mother not fulfill her motherly duties and she is ostracized and shunned. The standards are NOT the same.

I was always a writer but lived in a bookkeeper’s body before I found Medium and broke free — well, almost. Working to work less and write more.

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