Lisa, having lost my mother when I was an infant, I struggled with abandonment issues and felt the need to hold tight to every friend, even those with whom I had no more than a casual relationship.

During my 30s and 40s, I juggled at least 4 dozen friendships, struggling to write and call those in distant places at least monthly and to have frequent lunches, dinners, and other activities with those nearby. I wrote over 200 Christmas cards each year, many to people I hadn’t seen or heard from in decades. Having so many “friends” was exhausting!

I am finally, in my 60s, learning to let people go, to accept that friendships have a season, and just as a rose doesn’t bloom in the dark of winter, friendships also have a designated time to thrive.

I was always a writer but lived in a bookkeeper’s body before I found Medium and broke free — well, almost. Working to work less and write more.

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