More lonely, or simply alone, people need to date themselves. Luxuriate in what you like, not in whatever someone tosses your way. Get to truly know yourself before searching for someone else.

I work with a 32-year-old woman whose divorce was final the Monday after Thanksgiving. Not relishing spending Christmas with her alcoholic parents, she immediately went online to create a Christmas getaway for herself. Today she returns from a short 3-day trip to Manhattan, her first visit to NYC. She stayed in a gorgeous, though not terribly expensive, hotel a few blocks from Central Park. She dined wherever she wanted, was her own date to see Hamilton on Broadway, visited the sites she wanted to see, walked the streets in her own company, and had an amazing time. Not once was she lonely, disappointed, angry, annoyed, or frustrated. I believe she is returning as a new woman, one who know she can have adventures by herself and can find contentment and happiness without the need of another person.

I was always a writer but lived in a bookkeeper’s body before I found Medium and broke free — well, almost. Working to work less and write more.

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