Oh, Robert, in the time it took you to write this story, you could have Hoovered and feather dusted your hours - twice. And that's not counting the time spent dreaming up this con game. What if we women did the same? Our homes would collapse in chaos and chicanery. In no time, we'd be Neanderthals. Then, you lazy bums would really have to work to put dinner on the table.

By the way, your wife knows - yep, she really does.