Rob, I am not the hot-head you appear to think I am.

Let me give you a little history. I spent 28 years in a family that was far-right, gun-toting, NRA-supporting, flag-waving, and minimally-educated. When I met him, my husband was slightly better educated, a reader, and more towards center than his family and friends. We could have agreeable discussions, listen to one another’s opinions, and provide information to back our positions. Over time, he moved to the left of center, still a distance from me, but good enough for an agreeable relationship.

His families and friends were another matter. They only read NRA and hunting publications and only watched wrestling, reality-TV, and cop shows. Our disagreements and arguments were legendary. NOT ONCE, no matter what the discussion, did they produce a shred of evidence for their firmly-held beliefs. Not an article, not a book, not a documentary. All they had were sound bites ripped from the lips of ultra-right politicians and celebrities. But, no matter what I presented to validate my side of the discussion, they refused to pay any attention. Not once in 28 years did a single one of them read an article or book or watch a documentary I mentioned. They simply clamped harder to their beliefs. Because they were “family and friends”, I learned to grimace and walk away.

Over time, my husband, with the help of the internet, moved further and further to the right, became a conspiracist, added to his arsenal of guns, and, basically, scared the hell out of me. I left him and his family and friends.

I walked away with a gem of wisdom, you can’t educate those who don’t want to learn. It’s as useless as trying to teach my cat to speak French.

I don’t consider that as “choosing intolerance”. I consider that as turning my attention to more productive endeavors. Though doubtful, someone in the future might break through the walls I couldn’t. I did my best and walk away knowing that I presented my case. Time to move on.

I was always a writer but lived in a bookkeeper’s body before I found Medium and broke free — well, almost. Working to work less and write more.

I was always a writer but lived in a bookkeeper’s body before I found Medium and broke free — well, almost. Working to work less and write more.