Sounds like you are a very social person so I feel sorry that your husband is definitely not. Must be hard for you. And, his control issues — yikes!

I stayed in my previous marriage way too long because he suffered from depression and threatened suicide whenever he thought I might leave. I carry enough childhood guilt on my shoulders without adding the self-inflicted demise of a husband, so I stayed. He wasn’t abusive or anti-social or even a bad person. He just changed as he aged, becoming an ultra-conservative gun enthusiast and incredibly lazy, and his hoarding tendencies got out of hand — I was taking vacation days just to throw out all the junk he piled on the carport or in the backyard or on the porch since the last time I took a vacation day and did the same thing. I finally couldn’t take it anymore and left. Funny thing is, he did not kill himself. Well, not directly. He ignored doctor’s orders after major surgery which caused a blood clot that ended his life. That was three years after I left.

Back to the topic of pets. We will soon be considering a new dog. Our 16-year-old mutt passed just three weeks ago so that is still raw. However, we are talking and thinking about it. I think it would be good for our Peke. Leaning towards adopting a greyhound that was in the racing industry — a big thing here in Florida. Once the dogs no longer race, they are euthanized or given to greyhound rescue groups. They are unique dogs with special needs. They also are a hunting breed so any one we consider needs to be socialized with cats and small dogs. The rescue group here will have a meet-and-greet in May that my husband and I and the grandchildren will attend. Not sure if a greyhound is right for us but definitely want to consider that breed.

Regarding Medium, the more writers you discover and follow, the more will show up in your “feed” and your claps and responses help the Medium logarithm to route more stories you like to your feed. Of course, they also throw in some generally popular posts as well as promotional ones because they want the Medium community to be diverse — they want us to branch out and read a variety of posts, not just the same sorts over and over.

Many people complain about how the feed works but I like it. I see the writers I like the most and I get exposed to new or different ones.

You can always go to the search field and search someone’s name or a topic that interests you and articles will pop up. At first, it is very confusing. You “meet” so many people at once that it’s impossible to remember all the names to search for them. But, I found the easiest way to follow and connect with people is to see who some of my favorites follow and respond to. For example, if you like Jack Herlocker, go to his profile page and check out his claps and comments. He probably reads the same sorts of things you like. Then, follow those writers. Also, following publications helps the logarithm to know what stories to push your way. Find publications you like and follow them. Look at the writers for those publications and follow them.

Eventually (took me about 7 months), you will discover your Medium tribe — the people who resonate with you. You can always search for them when none of their stories show up in your feed. For example, I love the alleged kat (Hey, kat, mentioning you here to make a point and to get Annie to follow you!). Sometimes she is busy on other projects and doesn’t write as much. If I don’t see her for a while, I wonder if I am just missing her posts or if she is not writing much because of other activities. I search for her and see what shows up. Sometimes, she hasn’t been very active, sometimes I’ve been missing her posts.

Anyway, those are some suggestion to help you adjust to Medium. I know you will love it here. Most of the writers are amazingly talented and interesting people. Some you get to know on a more personal level, others not so much, but that is okay. Some like to be more private, others are very open.

I really look forward to you posting some articles and photos!

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I was always a writer but lived in a bookkeeper’s body before I found Medium and broke free — well, almost. Working to work less and write more.

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