There is much to be said for being comfortable with one another — the kind of comfort that comes with years of experiences. If you built your marriage on a firm bedrock, it can weather most storms. Ours was not firm. We both brought too many problems into it. I tried to solve my own and his. He was damaged and refused to get the help he needed. As he aged, his anger worsened. He either lashed out or shut down — no in between. He became radically conservative — had he lived, he’d be wearing a MAGA hat these days. His interest in guns became an obsession. Too many warning signs to ignore.