Totally feeling ya, Zach. I won’t even touch your Donald Trump comparison because he’s evil incarnate, not human, and he, simply, sucks. But, I know many other everyday people for whom gifts fall from the heavens. They certainly don’t work as hard as I do, most are not as intelligent or as kind as I am, but the gods of life give them Christmas every month. I have no answers.

I do know Bob. His name isn’t Bob though. He’s a man I’ve worked with for 36 years, and I dare you to find anyone more disciplined than he. At 80, he walks 5 miles every damn morning, weather permitting. His suits and dress shirts are filed in his closet by color. He never — NEVER — eats sweets unless as dessert after dinner. At his law firm, birthdays are celebrated with the employee’s favorite cake. On his birthday, he cuts his piece of cake, covers it neatly with Saran Wrap and takes it home to eat after his healthy dinner while the rest of the staff is wiping icing off their lips. Everything he does is methodical and efficient. His attire is pristine. All who know him share an insane desire to roughly rub their hands over his perfectly coiffed hair while laughing maniacally.