Well, it’s not like he said I had 48 hours to grieve, Lorraine. More like, he gets annoyed after that. He doesn’t have much tolerance for anyone “playing the victim”, as he says. More of a pick-yourself-up-and-get-on-with-life person like so many men I know.

I think part of what seems to be a lack of understanding with him is that he is retired and I still work. When his mother passed a couple of years ago (they were very close), he put on her favorite music and cried almost every day for several months. But, by the time I got home, he was fine. I work so I can’t cry during the day. I suck it up all day and then get home and feel sad or start to cry. He is excited for me to get home and there I am a puddle of tears. Not much fun for him but he can’t seem to understand that I have no other time to cry, especially the evenings I talk to them on the phone — those always end in tears.

I was always a writer but lived in a bookkeeper’s body before I found Medium and broke free — well, almost. Working to work less and write more.

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