Well, that is simply irritating, Cassius! No wonder you feel unheard. You can’t let go until you process. You can’t process until you know how. That is what a therapist is supposed to help you figure out. And, she misgenders you? I would wonder about her credentials but know that there are many mental health professionals who are ignorant of LGBTQ, and particularly transgender, issues.
There is so much pain and turmoil in and around you, Cassius, it’s no wonder you are feeling disconnected and desperate.
There is a spring for you. I can’t say when, but there is. I don’t know how old you are or what choices you can make for your life. Patience may be necessary but understandably difficult to muster in your circumstances.
If you can’t find an informed and understanding therapist in your area, maybe there is someone else who could help? In these cases, people often recommend ministers but since you are LGBTQ that may not be advisable or helpful.
Online? Check out this: https://www.pridecounseling.com/
You need more than physical activity, although it certainly doesn’t hurt, may help, but definitely will not heal all your trauma.
I recommend this publication on Medium:
Perhaps, you will find a community there to help. I specifically recommend reaching out to James Finn. He is an LGBTQ warrior. If nothing else, ask to be added as a writer and WRITE, express all these feelings. You can’t “let it go” but you can “let it out”. That site is new and full of compassionate people.
Please stay in touch. My email is email@example.com.
We can all help you find your spring.