What perplexed me about his many statements about not changing was that the marriage counselor never called him out on it, didn’t make a comment, seemed okay with a man not changing in 25 years! I work with a young woman going through a divorce who came to the realization that in her almost 10 years of marriage, she had grown and changed tremendously and her husband was the same. Fortunately, she came to that realization 15 years sooner than I did. And, embarrassingly enough, it still took me 3 more years to leave. I was too depressed and stuck to move forward even though I had totally given up on my marriage.