Wow, that is a great deal of stress you have! Having lived with the hoarding issue — not just my first husband but my step-mother too — I fully understand how frustrating and exhausting it is. Once I left the house, my first husband completely trashed it with all his “treasures”, a/k/a junk. We were still technically married when he passed so the house was 100% mine. Lucky me, I spent 6 months cleaning out the house, yard, carport, and 4 sheds before I could list it for sale. Four years later my stepmother, who lived in Tennessee, passed. Fortunately, the executor of her estate, one of her friends, was responsible for the bulk of that clean-out mess, but I did go up with a friend and spent 3 days doing what I could to help, taking back the few items I wanted to keep.
How do you live without ever taking a vacation??? My work makes it difficult for us but we do take several long weekends during the year and one 10-day vacation every fall when we go to NJ/NYC.
Since you like to cook, I suggest following The Solitary Cook! Lives in the Northern Rockies and posts recipes, photos, and recipe challenges that are fun.